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HUMOR- Lawns are dumb!

HUMOR- Lawns are dumb!

Lawns are dumb. They’re attractive but high maintenance, pretty but senseless—the bimbos of the natural world. As I’m hauling hoses around my lawn, I can’t help but wonder if there isn’t a better use of my time and water. And if it’s not the lawn that’s dumb. I like my lawn for about half a […]

HUMOR – Why I hate Facebook (and love it)

HUMOR – Why I hate Facebook (and love it)

Look at that. An acquaintance has just posted a dozen photos of her Hawaiian honeymoon on Facebook. Beautiful! Hey wait. She’s on what should be the best vacation of her life with the person she presumably loves more than anyone in the world, and she’s staring at her phone. I have half a mind to […]

Belly Be Gone

Belly Be Gone

You’re sitting on your couch watching NCIS reruns and eating a heaping bowl of rocky road when on comes a commercial. It shows a beautiful woman wearing an itsy, bitsy exercise outfit as she works out on the Belly Be Gone Exercise Machine. She’s not even sweating and she’s smiling like she mistook this for […]

HUMOR- The great web of life ticks on

HUMOR- The great web of life ticks on

I picked up a hitchhiker on a recent trip. I gave him a ride and a good meal, then I squashed him and flushed him down the toilet. I bet you’ll never accept a ride from me. Relax. You’d have done the same thing. The hitchhiker was a tick which, not coincidentally, rhymes with ick. […]

The vast conspiracy to keep light sleepers awake

The vast conspiracy to keep light sleepers awake

I wake up in a relative’s guest room to the sound of the neighbor’s alarm clock going off in the apartment below. Too bad the neighbor doesn’t. He’s either dead or he’s not at home, in which case he’s going to wish he was dead when he gets home. After 20 minutes of listening to […]

HUMOR- Look for Me in Office Supplies

HUMOR- Look for Me in Office Supplies

Some people are Shoe Store People. Some people are Furniture Store People. Some people are Any and All Store People. They can happily browse their chosen retail outlet even if at that moment, they’re not in the market for the object of their obsession, or anything else for that matter. Their favorite store is like […]

HUMOR – Be Quiet and Eat Your Dandelions

HUMOR – Be Quiet and Eat Your Dandelions

When I complained to my friend about the yellow scourge taking over my yard, she told me to be quiet and eat my dandelions. She said dandelions are nutritious, delicious and free. I told her she could have as many as she wanted if she’d just come by and pick them. So far she hasn’t […]

HUMOR – Why they put Solitaire on computers

HUMOR – Why they put Solitaire on computers

My productivity dropped like a laptop into the lake when I got my fancy, new PC. That’s partly because, for non-geeks like me, the only thing worse than a dead computer is the learning curve on a new one. Besides that, my new computer has a wide screen, covered with time-wasting temptations, like the news, […]

HUMOR – Your cat would kill you if it was bigger

HUMOR – Your cat would kill you if it was bigger

I’ve had trouble sleeping ever since I heard a disturbing story on the Internet news site, Buzz60. The story sited research suggesting my cat would kill me if it was bigger. And the researchers made this claim without ever having met my cat. But it isn’t just my cat. It’s yours too, if you have […]

HUMOR – Be at the dock when you’re ship comes in

HUMOR – Be at the dock when you’re ship comes in

I know someday my ship is going to come in. I just hope I’m there to meet it. I’ve been worried about it ever since I read the story of Australian writer Helen Garner. She got a message in her junk email folder recently telling her she’d won a prestigious writing prize, but the sender needed […]

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