Dreaming away the miles
I’d like you to meet my driver. Oops. Did I say my driver? I meant, I’d like you meet my husband. It’s an easy mistake; if we’re going anywhere, he’s almost always driving. And he’s very good at it. At least I think he is. I’m usually asleep when he’s driving, so I could be wrong.
I’m a good driver too. Or anyway, I am when I’m awake, which is one of the characteristics you look for in a good driver.
Unfortunately, I have a little insomnia issue, and it just so happens I sleep better in a moving car than I do in a bed. On particularly bad nights, I’m tempted to wake up my husband and hand him the car keys. I never do though; that would be mean. Besides I sleep better when I know he’s well rested.
I tell people my spouse was a truck driver in another life. He loves a long road trip and he seems to enjoy driving. Of course, it’s possible he just doesn’t want me behind the wheel.
It’s a talent really. Not everyone can snooze in a moving vehicle. Maybe they don’t trust their driver as much as I trust mine. Or maybe they feel like they need to stay awake to alert the driver of potential road hazards and traffic violations. How thoughtful! Between you and me, I’ll bet those drivers wouldn’t mind if their passengers would doze off now and then.
My husband and I are actually perfect traveling companions. He wouldn’t give up the wheel even if I wanted it and I don’t distract him while he’s driving, though that could change if I ever start snoring.
But there are negatives. For one thing, I rarely know where we are or how we got there. I’ll be in serious trouble if he ever abandons me on a trip and I have to find my way home. Not only will I have to ask for directions, I’ll have to ask where I am.
I don’t know where we’ve been either, which is a little embarrassing. When someone asks me if we’ve traveled in a particular state, I turn to my husband and say, “Have we?”
And it’s sad that I’ve slept through some of the most amazing landscape in our country. I awoke from a nap somewhere in Arizona, and my husband ask me what I thought of the canyon. I said, “What canyon?”
I’m joking! I saw the Grand Canyon, but only because we got out of the car and walked when we were there. I don’t sleepwalk, thank goodness. That would be dangerous, especially on the rim of the Grand Canyon.
I once woke up after a nice nap in Missouri though. My husband asked me if I’d seen the lake, and I said, “What lake?” We’d been passing by the Lake of the Ozarks, which apparently has a surface area of 54,000 acres and 1,150 miles of shoreline. In my defense, I don’t think we drove by the whole thing. But I’d have to ask my driver to be sure.
Dorothy Rosby is the author of the humor book, I Didn’t Know You Could Make Birthday Cake from Scratch: Parenting Blunders from Cradle to Empty Nest. Contact email@example.com.