I like to hear what I’m listening to, and that does not mean sticking earbuds into my ears and whiling away the dull times with music. I like to hear what people are saying at the tables. Sometimes what is said is a tell to the quality of their holding, sometimes they are trying to camouflage a bluff. Many times it’s a complaint, gripe or whine…if I can use the information to figure out what they were playing with, that’s good Intel for me: Most of the time they get sent to the “Delete/Spam” folder immediately. But on rare occasions, people say things that make me sit up and take notice.
These bits of oral wisdom vanish immediately after they are spoken, but if one keeps an alert ear, open mind and retains a semi-adequate memory these little jewels can be remembered later. Poker wisdom can be heard in bumper-sticker formats. Bumper-stickers must be clear, concise and pithy. My dictionary defines pithy as “Brief, yet forceful and to the point, often with an element of wit.” Presented below are several pithy comments made – and overheard by me – during poker sessions. A brief commentary follows each one. So, trusting I don’t “Pith you off” with these, here we go.
“Keep betting until you know you are beat, then just call.”
While I have heard this – and similar versions – for some time, I have seen people do this time and time again. They are the lead bettor, wagering aggressively at the pot, then on the river a card comes that they know made the opponents’ hand for them. The aggressor then checks, the opponent bets and gets a crying call from the now-subdued aggressor. Of course, the chaser got there and the once-proud aggressor whines about taking a beat. Well, it has been said that a bet saved is money in the bank. Why, knowing one is beaten now in the hand, does a player throw good money after that which is lost? If you know you are beat, just muck your cards and save that big bet – or worse, calling a bet and raise – for another hand. Do you really think that person stayed in the hand all that time, taking all the heat from your wagering, just to bluff on the river when a scare card hits? And scare cards will hit maybe one time out of three! Did he really stay there all that way drawing to nothing? Come on, Dimbulb…think! Why would this guy stay in that hand all that way? He had to be drawing to something…and he got there. Save that last bet, muck your cards and you will have more ammo for the next combat.
“I lost half of my money chasing straights and flushes…and the other half after I caught them.”
A good friend of mine who sadly doesn’t play live action much anymore (anyone remember Artie “Boom-boom” Winstanley?) used to say “He who chases straights and flushes soon be riding Greyhound buses” What he was saying with that cute rhyme is that the chances of catching a straight and/or a flush are ‘way down there compared with the chances of missing them altogether. Looking back at an article written a while ago, the chances of making either a straight or a flush are approximately 3-to-1 against you. Meaning, out of every four tries, you will fail three and hit once. So you must also know – and have – the correct pot odds to go chasing after these elusive critters.
In Pithology (the study of Pith), there oftentimes is a second layer of pith under the first. In the saying quoted above, the second part is “…and (lost) the other half after I caught them.” Simply put, if one is going about chasing after straights and flushes, one must chase after the Nuts. One must either have the Nuts or be drawing to them. If you’re drawing to lesser, and therefore weaker and more vulnerable, straights and flushes, you might hit your hand and be beaten by someone who was drawing to the same thing with the Nuts.
“I can beat anyone who doesn’t call.”
My friend Terry said this at a home game some time ago. Before the flop, four people joined the hand. After the flop, then the turn, then the river, no one made a move. Could all these players have all these cards presented to them and no one caught any of it? I’ve seen it happen. So when the betting got around to Terry, he threw in a wager and spoke that quoted above. On one hand he was correct; if anyone could call his bet, he could not beat them. This told me he had an Ace-high, perhaps an A-K for “Nut, no-pair”. No one called his bet; he scooped in a small pot and showed A-K. What he said sounded like an oxymoron; I can beat anyone who does not call. Meaning, if everyone folds, then my hand is a winner. But if anyone feels like they could call his bet – even with bottom pair or even just a pair of deuces – he would lose. He was right. But what he said sounded weird; true, but weird.
