Do you remember the scene in the crazy college movie Animal House where a bunch of frat boys are playing poker at a party, Flounder walks up, sticks his head in the mix and says, “You guys playing poker?” It’s always good for a hearty laugh but in truth, players say things like that all the time.
In some cases it’s simply an uneducated player and in others it’s just the terminology of the game.
Be careful though – there are players who will put on the “good ol’ boy” persona, but in reality are lulling other players to sleep. Then they pounce when the time is right – scooping up the chips.
So, in the grand old tradition of any good “Top 10 list” here we go.
10: Bet your hand
No kidding. Saying it while a player is deciding what to do is a clear sign of nervousness and weakness. Some players will also say it when they think another is going to try to check it down. No need – just do it.
9: I was going for a Gut shot
If you hit, it demonstrates you are a chaser and obviously the entire table can see that. Or if you don’t hit, it shows that you will chase and pay off for weak draws. Neither is good for your image.
8: I’ve got a bad beat story or any variation
Who cares? We all have them and unless there is something very unique (not involving the cards – we have all seen almost any combination come up), people really don’t want to hear them and tune out. Even worse, in almost every case another player will chime in with another story and it will continue.
7: You’re a Jack off
Means a player needed a Jack and did not catch and just sounds funny.
6: There are more low cards than high cards
I heard this when a player called 2 raises in a $30 – $60 game at The Ameristar with a 3h – 6h. When the dust cleared the player had lost over $380 in the hand chasing a heart draw and a 2nd pair against Kh – Kd. Yep, there are as many low cards as high cards but they always need help to win. The kid spent the next ½ hour complaining how he could never hit a draw and how unlucky he was. The funny thing was not one player contradicted him – they all wanted him to keep calling with all those low cards.
5: Cheater
I was at a table at The Lodge Casino when this disparaging remark was directed at a lady by a gentleman who thought she was colluding (playing with someone else) – without realizing that other person was her husband. The next thing I knew, the husband had punched the guy and the guy was in the process of picking up a chair to toss (with entire room ducking like a wave.) Dick – a dealer who was actually a World Champion in Martial Arts – tackled him and he ended up going to jail /all because he said the wrong thing.
4: But it’s suited
Cards being suited only add a few percentages to the chance to win at the most and should not be the decision-maker. Stating it makes a player appear to be one who will chase and always comes out sounding like an excuse.
3: Can I Straddle
In reality the player is referring to doubling the bet in front of the blind to get the last bet. But – when said on a quiet table the comment always draws smiles.
2: I knew you had Aces but had to call
What? By saying this, the player is acknowledging they knew the other player had the best hand in poker and still called. Why not just hand that player all your money?
1: And …..(Drumroll please)
The No. 1 thing not to say at a poker table is “Sorry”. As Tom Hanks said in A League of their own, “There’s no crying in baseball” except in this case it should be “There’s no “Sorry” in Poker.”
If the player is truly sorry about winning the pot – push the pot the other way. Otherwise, in truth there is no sorrow and saying “Sorry” just twists the knife a little bit.
In the old day’s (outlawed currently by Colorado Gaming) we could toss a chip (scoot) back to the loser and that was a good way to say sorry.
Anyway – keep your ears open / it’s amazing what you will hear.
Remember … Play your game.
